Focus switch

Whether we’re aware or not, every day we’re given choices. And a new opportunity to improve ourselves. If we use these gifts or not is up to each of us. No one can control our fate unless we allow this.

Whether we’re aware or not, every day we’re given choices. And a new opportunity to improve ourselves. If we use these gifts or not is up to each of us. No one can control our fate unless we allow this.

This being said, today I choose to write about that switch button we can all push, when it comes to personal perceptions and focus.

This morning, while on my way to work, I’ve witnessed 2 indecent gestures of 2 men (sorry guys, nothing personal, yet men seem to overlook common sense more often). However, none of them affected anyone. But these could have easily ruined my day, if I hung on to them. I could have used overthinking and analyze why do men do this or that in public. Nonetheless, as I mentioned, we can push the switch button and change our views, guiding our focus towards a new event or thought.

Man with spectacles

While in the subway I noticed something weird at first sight: a young man (barely reaching his 30s) who spent about 40 seconds looking at his wrist watch. Why weird? Because, most certainly, when seeing something like this, we’re quick to thinking: “Why does it take him so long to read such a basic thing as the hour?” As first impulse, one could easily mock him and say: “Change your glasses, dude”. Yet, by observing his spectacles and mimic, the problem was beyond that… A closer (aka more careful) look would reveal a thick lens, pointing to high diopter.

I felt sorry for this young man, which – most certainly – was working in a corporation, as he got out of the subway to the same station as I did (corporate area of the city). On the other hand, I was happy that he was willing and capable of supporting his life, despite his obvious handicap.

As I was climbing the stairs to the surface, I thought about the ease our minds encounter in switching from one thing to another; one topic to the other; one state to another. We hold an incredible power to which we’re blind, most of our lives, as secondary aspects come first. But, as I say in most of my writings, choice is always free. Nonetheless, we choose to throw our innate gifts on 2nd, 3rd, 10th or even 30th place, granting priority to the less important facts.

But don’t take my word for granted. Just do it once. Be your own volunteer and try the focus switch. You may thank yourself later, as you get used to it and learn the benefits of mind games. Because “focus switch” is just a game, meant for us to really understand the strength within and the magic of discovering it.

Remember: change starts with one!

Love, A.

Fly, fly, butterfly…

While I keep myself anchored in the now, I prepare myself to let them go. As soon as they’re ready. But this is another aspect. How do we know when they are ready?

Once we give birth, we see kids as a trophy. A sign of our accomplishment. And we struggle to save them from the bad and the unconventional.

But why is it that we do that? Is it because we’re trying to guide them on the right track? Whose right track? Theirs? Or pushing them to follow a pattern? Or are we trying to pursue them to follow a path we, ourselves, were too afraid of taking or did not succeed on?

Releasing butterflies

These are questions I always ask myself, in the process of raising them. Just see it like this… Once they grow up, are they really only ours? Or should we let them fly and understand that they belong to themselves, first, and to the vast world as well?

So instead of making them follow what society wants, why can’t we guide them to see and go for what THEY want?

Yes, is a hard task. But we can do it if we want to. This will bring them closer to us (paradoxically, right?). Because they will understand how much we trust them and how much we want them to follow their own dreams. And see the freedom we provide, instead of keeping them glued to our lives.

I hear the “they’re too young for this” formula so often! But let me burst your bubble: that’s wrong!¬†The sooner you leave choice to their hands, the sooner they learn how to handle it and take charge of consequences. Plus, remember that life is no pink unicorn …ūüėČ (This way of raising my kids may be subject of controversy, but this is solely my view about teaching them how to use their brains.)

Going even further, this is what I do…
While I keep myself anchored in the now, I prepare myself to let them go. As soon as they’re ready. But this is another aspect. How do we know when they are ready? We don’t. They do!¬†

So,¬†I’ll grant them the space they need and make sure their wings spread, in a continuous effort of soaring, as unconventionally as they may feel.

In the same time, I hope I’ll be capable of providing good advice (we never know what’s the best, afterall) and support their genuineness.

Becoming aware of the fact that we will never be able to save them from deceit or prevent from making mistakes may adjust a bit our perspective over their future and the term “liberty”.

Short example: my kids want spinners, yet something holds me back from granting this wish. My explanation to them (I always make sure I explain why) wasI don’t agree or approve you using them, as they damage this and that. If you want using it to affect this and that, I’ll be ok with buying you one“. Their answer? “No

So, I go like this:

For our kids’ sake, we should educate ourselves first. To let them be. Offer them the information they need to find themselves and, eventually, let them fly…

Love,
A.

My purpose

¬†¬†¬† ¬†Everyone has a dream, even if buried in the most hidden place of their minds. My dream is to have a constraint-free life and a strong control over my mind. To loose all the masks and, hopefully, encourage people to do the same…

¬† ¬† This blog has the purpose of taking me one step further in accomplishing my dream… ¬†Writing gives me the freedom I need. ¬†It helps me understand better my own mind, as all articles are based on personal experience and goals.

     If,  by all means, my writings could benefit people, than my goal should be reached.

     Please feel free to share, but keep in mind that this is only my view over the world.

     Love,

      A.

Broken wing…

¬† ¬† ¬†A bird is free to fly, no one can hold it back from its path. And so are you… Whether you’re a canary or an eagle, never allow anyone put you in a golden cage! Apologize if you’ve done wrong and fly away. Same goes for others. Don’t you ever expect them to step by themselves in a cage they don’t wish for as a home. In fact, never expect anything form anyone. In this way, you’ll never, ever be disappointed and will never get hurt. You’ll never have your wings clipped by a crashed dream; by a broken wish.

¬† ¬† ¬† ¬†If anyone hurts your feeling and expectations, NEVER point the gun to their head. Cease any attempt of hurting them back. If your wings got hurt because of your expectations and hopes, don’t blame them. Don’t blame yourself either, even though you’ve opened up till it cut your soul. Just accept the facts and move on. “Some things cannot be changed” someone once told me. Truth has been spoken!

¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† I know the first thing that comes to your mind is to make them feel just the way you do. But what’s the point? Will seeing them hurt make you feel any better? Maybe on the spot. But you’ll be sorry later on. So, don’t do it! Don’t turn all your frustrations against them. Don’t throw empty words because you’re miserable. Think it through and take a wise step. Be deceived if you can’t control it, but because of your perception, not because of the actual facts.

      Moving on is painful. Embrace the pain and trust that it will, someday, go away. Deception will step aside as well. At some point.

¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬†Go to your best friend and ask for cure – music is the best help you’ll ever get! It will never let you down. Search for that playlist that has always helped you go through all the necessary stages, but in the end lifted you up. Force yourself! You’re the only one that can help you. Be silent and don’t go running for gossip. This is something you need to face alone. So be alone!

¬† ¬† ¬† I won’t advise to focus on something else, because you won’t be able to. Remember that blue moments are part of our lives. Let them take you over. Let that knife sleep through your fingers, down to the ground. You’re not doing anyone any good if you use it. Not even yourself. Share bitter tears if they fall. They will dry. And you’ll be strong enough to lift your eyes from the ground and smile. Even to them. And thank them for the lesson…

¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬†Heal yourself! Put the hurt away, when you can. But never regret your feelings! Some things cannot be changed and there are things never to be sorry for…

 

Love,

A.

 

 

 

 

Dreams

¬† ¬† Dreams are so damn hard to handle sometimes… You just watch and see nothing at all… You walk and don’t feel the steps you take… You breathe, but there’s no air… Everything is just heavy… Damn, is heavy! All you think about is that dream…

And you can’t (or won’t) wake up. Everything surrounding you is trying to send you signals you need to open your eyes and get anchored in reality. But you choose to go even deeper into your own little world. It’s warm in there. You could spend your entire life there. Why bother facing hurt, when you can surrender to your passion? That passion makes you happy, after all. In what way? For how long? Could be eternally, if that’s your choice. I know, it’s all a matter of choice. Said it before and I stand up for it. But I also support chasing your dreams you’re pointed to by your passion.

Chasing… Burdensome process… But you build as you chase. You place a stone with each step. Is a creation process, yes. And, if you remember, “The creation process is incredible”. Keeps the distance you need away from people, provides you that space you so eagerly aim for.

So, dream big and chase till the end. Till you have it all built up. Or completely crashed. If one dream crashes and can’t be restored, ¬† rise up and find another. NEVER give up! Be friends with your desires, passionately create a dream around them, chase and feel free! Find out how much truth is there in the saying: “If you can dream it, you can DO it!”… Choose you’re most comfortable shoes, add a pinch of COURAGE and GO!

Love,

A.

Red sneakers made for walking

¬† ¬† What would ever make you take a long mile walk, against hot wind? You’re taking a road no-one dares to. Headphones on highest volume level, those red sneakers made for walking and songs on your lips… A moving image. Reason? Mind relief… Thoughts’ selection…

Gray and green sight. A wistle in a song. Long distance. But you need this walk… You need no one around and you’re a nobody… Just a walking someone. You need to accept facts. Thoughts keep on tumbling down. Your speed is slower than a snail’s. You hurry for a moment whenever a street needs to get crossed, as the cars won’t wait for your dragging steps. Maybe you can take a small leap? You finally reach the lake. And you stop, watching the sun going down… Almost. Sunset will have finished its process till you reach the empty room.

The road accompanied by the lake becomes too short for your state of mind. You stop for a moment to give your feet a little break. And write a bit. Shape your ideas.

Once your feet lead you back among people, you feel the constraint of society; they stare at you as if an alien just crossed the street with flowers in its hand. Because there’s no rush in your attitude. But you could’t care less! You keep on going. All you see is your dream, while listening to a song with lyrics “Driver, take me wherever but home”. You crave for free life. No burdens, no destination for your trip, no handcuffs attributed by humanity, no labels on your back…

Sun has started its setting. You’re still walking, heading to a place you don’t want to reach… Smells come and go; a police car at a corner – these men stop a driver; the horizon relieves smoke; ¬†a bicycle; and the bridge – going upwards. Feet keep on going. Smoke smell invades your nose and the sight runs into your eyes. Bridge goes downwards…

Drivers slow down, gazing at a strange girl walking on a strange path to be taken alone… Some of them hit the flashes… The girl keeps on going. She wouldn’t mind anything around her. Not even strangers staring or eagerly squeezing the horn…

The green lights of a place hit you – pizza place… No hunger… You’re getting closer and closer… Can you have a detour? Got it: there’s a shop around here. You will need food, eventually…

Nearly there… After more than 2 hours of walk. Another 2 minutes stop on a bench. It’s been a long day… Salina will soon take over your eyelashes as your trusted friend, the pillow, helps you rest your head. The sneakers also rest in their place… Long ride have they faced.

Love,

A.