Fly, fly, butterfly…

While I keep myself anchored in the now, I prepare myself to let them go. As soon as they’re ready. But this is another aspect. How do we know when they are ready?

Once we give birth, we see kids as a trophy. A sign of our accomplishment. And we struggle to save them from the bad and the unconventional.

But why is it that we do that? Is it because we’re trying to guide them on the right track? Whose right track? Theirs? Or pushing them to follow a pattern? Or are we trying to pursue them to follow a path we, ourselves, were too afraid of taking or did not succeed on?

Releasing butterflies

These are questions I always ask myself, in the process of raising them. Just see it like this… Once they grow up, are they really only ours? Or should we let them fly and understand that they belong to themselves, first, and to the vast world as well?

So instead of making them follow what society wants, why can’t we guide them to see and go for what THEY want?

Yes, is a hard task. But we can do it if we want to. This will bring them closer to us (paradoxically, right?). Because they will understand how much we trust them and how much we want them to follow their own dreams. And see the freedom we provide, instead of keeping them glued to our lives.

I hear the “they’re too young for this” formula so often! But let me burst your bubble: that’s wrong! The sooner you leave choice to their hands, the sooner they learn how to handle it and take charge of consequences. Plus, remember that life is no pink unicorn …😉 (This way of raising my kids may be subject of controversy, but this is solely my view about teaching them how to use their brains.)

Going even further, this is what I do…
While I keep myself anchored in the now, I prepare myself to let them go. As soon as they’re ready. But this is another aspect. How do we know when they are ready? We don’t. They do

So, I’ll grant them the space they need and make sure their wings spread, in a continuous effort of soaring, as unconventionally as they may feel.

In the same time, I hope I’ll be capable of providing good advice (we never know what’s the best, afterall) and support their genuineness.

Becoming aware of the fact that we will never be able to save them from deceit or prevent from making mistakes may adjust a bit our perspective over their future and the term “liberty”.

Short example: my kids want spinners, yet something holds me back from granting this wish. My explanation to them (I always make sure I explain why) wasI don’t agree or approve you using them, as they damage this and that. If you want using it to affect this and that, I’ll be ok with buying you one“. Their answer? “No

So, I go like this:

For our kids’ sake, we should educate ourselves first. To let them be. Offer them the information they need to find themselves and, eventually, let them fly…

Love,
A.

The eyes of happiness!

Today I choose to write about my kids. About how my time is never enough for them. And about how we need to be apart from time to time…

In my previous article I stated that life is no pink unicorn – not even close. Well, mine is neither. But I’m not here to complain. On the contrary!

So here goes today’s story…

I am not really fond of schedules and imposed rules. I know they’re good to keep chaos aside, yet some are exaggerated. But, looking at the bright side, there’s always a challenge to overcome. And a lesson to learn…

Today I choose to write about my kids. About how my time is never enough for them. And about how we need to be apart from time to time…

I mentioned schedules for bringing the last 2 paragraphs together, at some point.

So, my kids go to kindergarten, I go to work. Each of us with our own circle of people to interact with, every day. But, at the end of the day, we’re always together. But what about vacation times? I mean, their vacation time, as mine is always for being there for them…

This winter holiday was… Special. They had 3 weeks off kindergarten. That was a real challenge for me! I had 2 weeks off for this, but I had 1 more week to cover. So, regardless of the Montague and Capulet situation, I had to ask for the help of grandparents. Fortunately for them, my kids had a place to be during the mentioned time-frame. Therefore, solution found!

All good. Birthday over, bags packed, kids taken to their temporary home… The parting was emotional, as I had to leave them crying. But I had to go to work the next morning, thus this episode was inevitable.

When I got home and saw that emptiness, some part of my heart went sad. But I chose to embrace the challenge. (And, honestly, I could definitely use some breathing time.) After realising that, I felt more at peace with this short-while separation. So, I played some music, to keep me moving while doing some clean-up after the birthday hurricane….

Well, the next morning came and I barely got up to go to work. But I managed. As I always do. And so I did for the entire period, knowing that my kids are well-kept and I have some free time for myself. In other words, I chose to enjoy my alone time… (Remember: is all about perspectives and choices!) So, I bought some books, worked a bit at home for my dream, went for some shopping. And guess what? I enjoyed it!

Friday came and I was called up to pick up my girls. I was a bit disappointed, as the weekend was one step away, but I shortly realized that no one owes me a thing and I chose to be grateful for the help over a period I could have not managed otherwise. (Even if I could have paid for it, I had no other option at hand).

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The re-encounter moment was even more emotional than the parting… There’s no need for words during such moments. The body speaks a special language! Two pairs of happiness crying eyes and the utmost loving hugs were greeting me. More than enough! Words could never describe that! That’s something to be experienced, in order to be understood!

When we got home we built a paper castle. And had dinner on the floor. (Unconventional, I know, but that kept us closer than the table). When nighy-night time came, I was the fortunate receiver of another round of loving hugs. And 2 pair of lips whispering “I missed you, mommy! So much!” I would never trade that for the entire Universe…

And here is where I wanted to get, actually. Saturday morning. This marvelous morning… (Again, words faint in front of the real feelings of the moment!)

My kids woke up, one at a time. But the shine on their faces… Those happy eyes, when realizing they were home… Those beautiful, loving smiles when seeing their mommy… Those real hugs, with all those little bodies (and I mean, hugging with the entire body!) And that “I don’t want to let go of you! Don’t you ever leave me again!” expression on their faces… Priceless is too less!

Even though raising kids is no easy task, I’ll never forget these moments… And I’ll keep on trying to reach my dream, so that all of us 3 can experience the magic of such moments every day… Every single day!

Love,
A.