Blog

The treble clef  

Times and times… Mornings come and mornings go. One day at a time… Sometimes, a new dawn shows no mercy on our fears, no pitty for the cruelty arround us, wearing a careless and full of nothing cloak… taking us to nowhere… We’re just bodies floating in heavy air… Aiming to fall into the void…

Such days are hard to handle… You feel like you’re on a road you didn’t design. Each word you have to witness has the highest chance to become an innuendo, once your perception is reached.

Your mind craves for some challenge, just to keep its gears moving and an outcome to be shaped into something at least imaginary real. Fantasies of all sort happen beyond the limits of your wish, on so many different topics and levels you can’t put up with. After chewing these burning ideas, you get to that point you’ve had enough. Your feet won’t take another step; your hands won’t hold the lightest object; your eyes feel the need to close …; the pulse slows down to almost nothing… And your heart… Dear heart…! Just wants to cry the pain it’s all drowned in. And you inevitably crash. Like a fat whale on hot sand…

All you think to be comforting you is the loudest of sighs. Before the moment your eyelashes block the last spark thrown by a light bulb. You’re tired… Won’t take anything else… No more hoping, no longer wishing… Sigh only! And a loyal “friend”: Darkness stretching its “helping” hand, in a genuine attempt of reaching out to your most carefully hidden layer of sanity.

You’re tired of fighting, tired of speaking your mind every single minute and being judged for it, tired of selfless caring for people who don’t even show appreciation, tired of being hit under all circumstances for unknown reasons, tired of being strong and compelled to rise over and over again… Tired of… Well… everything… Tired of this never-ending highway called “life”.  Tired and waiting… For that last beat… No background noise… Just a last treble clef… And stillness…

Love,

A.

When music talks

    When music talks, you should hold your breath and simply listen!  Music is the best healer ever! Guides your steps through the dark times, opens the door to a new beginning, gives you wings when you’re down, provides that special “Thanks” when you succeed and holds your hand when you want to fly.

It’s the ultimately loyal friend you will EVER meet! And it’s here to stay. FOREVER! Never gets tired to listen to you, while you listen to it, and to give your heart the proper pill; it’s always full-time or never-ending; never betraying, but expressing within acceptable limits.

Whether you love till it bleeds or want to scream your rage out, you will always find at least one song to comfort your mood. Whether is rock or jazz, dubstep or R&B, techno or classic, options are always wide open. Availability on long term, repeat mode till devices’s battery fades, great palette of more-or-less talented or promoted artists (upon your choice), always meeting or even exceeding your expectations, without having to ask for it… What more can you ask for from this amazing fellow?

As a music addict, I must acknowledge its  long term merits! Music always encourages me to follow my most daring dreams …

I know one thing: till the day I close my eyes, this friend will accompany my path, be it dark or shining trough it all!

“To the sky I rise/ Spread my wings and fly…” with my headphones on 🙂

Love,

A.

Breathe with me… Holding hands…

    “Meet me in the stillness, on a rooftop under the stars and just breathe with me!”

    I once stated I like nothing more than spending quality time with myself. I still do and I will ALWAYS value personal space.

    However, there’s some other controversy about myself: I love spending quality time with people I can trust and have the deepest of conversations, on complex topics. Did I say “people”? No, not many, but one person. One at a time. Wisely chosen.

    Can’t and won’t debate such interests with people not ready to take this (see “The KISS principle”). One on one talks are always the best. You can see everything beyond their words. Remember the “eyes betrayal” part? Yeah, that’s good therapy… Never forced, though… You see or you don’t. Not purposely trying to find something. Interpretation can be delusional if used in the inappropriate manner.

     That’s about it in regards to talking…

    Moving on to the “breathe with me part”…. I guess that’s the most interesting one! Breathing is an amazing exercise. Can help in relieving one’s mind, reduces stress and drives to a chill state of mind. That’s the individual part. While breathing alongside a trustworthy companion can have an even better outcome. Trust is sealed by stillness, stars and silence. Deeper connections are on a good path… If fingers touch, but physical connection stops there, souls melt into each other and that amazing selfless interconnection happen. That’s when you feel you found everything you crave for. Time is never there… You don’t need the “Do not disturb” sign… Nothing else but the two of you, connected on a higher level.

    Ok, things don’t just go inside that sparkly pink circle… Life is tough and challenging. BUT, if such connection is being built, you can definitely overcome everything! You may fight at times, or choose just a debate leading to commonly accepted goals. Compromise? Not sure this is the word. Rather “acceptance”… If it feels right for you!

     Patiently getting there… With that “someone”… Holding hands… And a pure kiss on my forehead!

 

 

    Love,

    A.

The KISS principle

    Catchy? Indeed…

You know, this is actually a principle used in programming 😉 Its translation: “Keep it simple, stupid”. The abbreviation caught my eye in the first place as well… (Won’t disclose the circumstances… Shhh..!) In the mentioned field this really has a meaning…

But why did I bring this up? For a good reason: it is being applied in our day to day life, regardless of the business area we are being part of. The simpler, the better – they say. Not sure I can agree. Depends what do you apply this for, though.

I’m the kind of person looking for the complex. Always searching for an answer, questions just flow all over; I hardly finish an idea I need to discover the answer of and I already have a new topic ready for a debate.

I’m under continuous inquiry of everything and curiousity is killing me. Tiring stuff… So, when I talk to someone exposing their idea(s) in a too simple way, I get… Shocked… Maybe even overwhelmed… By the comfort of their simplicity… And make me inquire even deeper… How can this be?

I sometimes merely envy people with no arguments/ answers when being asked the easiest of questions: “Why?”. Usually you get a mind-blowing “Just because”..

Sarcastic? May be… Sometimes I wish I was simple enough to just do my job using a well-known principle: “Monkey see, monkey do”; to sleep with the shinest conscience, not even being aware that I know nothing.. The more you know, the less you can peacefully rest your head on that carefully wrapped pillow.

Does this sound weird? Hey, I’m a weirdo, remember? (Nonetheless, I can identify and work on my flaws.) And what do I get from talking to simple people? What do I find in their don’t-give-a-damn attitude? A new  way… What way? Oh, right! A new way of understanding why simplicity brings that all-times-searched-for thing to people not even looking for it: happiness. True happiness? Or just THEIRS?

The next second comes with a terrible speed. Suddenly, I wake up like from a terrible nightmare and, screaming, I keep questioning.. . What the hell is happiness? My own happiness? Where do I find this? Still inquiring.. Though i already know my own truth! Controversy inside my head…

Love,

A.

Let’s talk about trust, baby… Pure diamond…

    There used to be a song: “Let’s talk about sex, baby/ Let’s talk about you and me…”

I choose “Let’s talk about trust, baby…” Sex is a moment, trust is a lifetime! The first one may be encountered on every corner, the latter is earned! One is a sport of the body, the other is a sport of the mind.

However, for someone to trust you, let your actions speak on your behalf. Words fade… Wind takes them far away in milliseconds… Moreover, what you do will always be remembered. Even if barely, but who cares? If you do something just for being remembered, don’t do it! If you do something because you FEEL it, go for it!

So… Trust… A sensitive check point… A barrier… The hardest, but most worthy of all. If you get to pass through, it’s still not done. You have to keep it alive. Works the same as love. In many ways…

Anyhow… You should handle it gently. Need to clean that glass it’s surrounded by. Spray a bit of scent afterwards and make it last forever. Wear white gloves… Trust is a priceless jewel. You may want to pull your hair off once is lost… Moreover, like gold, it always runs if broken… Seldomly find it again. Not talking about building it back… Almost impossible!

There would be so much more to say on the topic, but I love to keep it simple.  Just one more… Knowing you can fully trust one person in this life is the greatest comfort you can get. And, if that well-built trust is mutual, you’ve reached the highest stair to heaven… As you can share everything and feel no fear… Fear of being judged for what you feel or what you think… Fear of loosing yourself or that valuable one…

Build trust! Enjoy that marvelous diamond! Never break it!

Love,

A.

Part of the dark side

    Anger… That moment you feel like screaming till your lungs hurt, while rock music rushes all over your senses. That moment you wish you could run a race on a highway, sliding through speedy cars, till your breath fades! No looking back… The moment you just try to avoid … The unhealthy to your peace of mind thing.

That moment everything seems to go wrong, by all means… Everyone seems to be your enemy, they look like they know and want to make you unleash that hidden dark side of yours… Though you realize it’s all on you..

Your mind is just playing you the meanest of games, hiding clues all over..  Clues to what? Hidden locks to secret doors… Doors leading where? To be found…

They say ‘look for the rainbow in every storm’! What if the storm is too loud and thunders take over each and every inch of your mind? Can the rainbow be stronger than this? Can you change your perspective in a blink of an eye and just see pink fairies when all you imagine now is the devil in disguise?

My answer? Yes, it can. The rainbow lights up its own path. And pink fairies show up out of nowhere…. While music still rocks…

While you are all caught up in the claws of your never ending anger, someone slips from moving staircases, right in front of you. People rush to help him. By the time you realize, the moment is already history… But where is the light in all this? That person is all fine, getting up, shaking his skirt and keep on moving. What else? What about the fairies? Well… People you thought were all careless creatures seem to actually have a soul… Or a still-alive instinct for saving fellows in danger.

Does this tiny happening shine enough to make you realize the value of life and the meaning of your own view over it? Try it…

Love,

A.