What is Beauty and where do we find it?

Did you ever think thoroughly about what beauty really was? Do you see beauty as a magazine fake display? Or do you see beauty in intelligence, unconditional love and good vibe?

Or none of the above?

Did you ever think thoroughly about what beauty really was? Do you see beauty as a magazine fake display? Or do you see beauty in intelligence, unconditional love and good vibe?

Or none of the above?

Short story time…

In the last article I mentioned my challenges, as change stroke on many levels (work and personal). Oh, wait! Did I say challenges? Sorry, I meant reasons to be grateful for. Because change is always for the best!

But this article is not about this, is about beauty. So going back to the topic, I’ll give you a peek into my new home. How is it related to beauty? Just see the image below…

This picture can be seen as you walk through the hallway. I want this to be seen by everyone, as inner beauty is the most precious kind of gift one can receive from above.

But being yourself is sometimes difficult, right? Trusting that your own beauty is the missing link to happiness is heavy, right? But why? Why? Due to fear. Fear of being judged by others for your genuine style. Fear of not fitting in with boxed minds. Fear of not letting that inner voice speak.

But, please, ask yourselves:

Why are you running from that beautiful gem inside of you?

Why do you put your inner voice on mute mode?

And, then…

How can you change this?

Is there anyone that could ever do that for you? Or is it YOURSELF that needs to take the first step?

Sure, others can help you voice your conscious mind and beautify your appearance. But no one will ever be able to help you discover yourself, unless you try hard to head this way first.

Sure, there are identity coaches that can guide you towards what you need to look for, but they will never provide you the answers. They are just guides, not task takers. The task is YOURS, not theirs. There are people to support you morally, but it is still YOU that need to do the search.

I know, such task is never easy, but you’ll learn that is worth every single second of discovery. As there, right THERE, inside of you, there’s everything you need to find!

Your personal beauty is a gem!

Your mind is a powerful asset!

And your heart hides the most un-measurable and unconditional love!

I’ve learned the hard way that happiness should not be credited to someone else. But looked for within. Placing the burden of your own happiness on someone else’s shoulders may even be unfair, as they may feel overwhelmed by all the expectations such thing rises.

So… Remember:

You are beautiful!

You are powerful!

You are your own master!

You are the one responsible for your life!

And you are the Universal mind!

Search for yourself and connect to the infinity of the stars. You’ll witness a (r)evolution of mindset and you will be YOU!

“Be yourself/ Everybody else is taken”

Special thanks to Chinedu for widely and wisely spreading the message of being true to oneself!

Love,
A.

Focus switch

Whether we’re aware or not, every day we’re given choices. And a new opportunity to improve ourselves. If we use these gifts or not is up to each of us. No one can control our fate unless we allow this.

Whether we’re aware or not, every day we’re given choices. And a new opportunity to improve ourselves. If we use these gifts or not is up to each of us. No one can control our fate unless we allow this.

This being said, today I choose to write about that switch button we can all push, when it comes to personal perceptions and focus.

This morning, while on my way to work, I’ve witnessed 2 indecent gestures of 2 men (sorry guys, nothing personal, yet men seem to overlook common sense more often). However, none of them affected anyone. But these could have easily ruined my day, if I hung on to them. I could have used overthinking and analyze why do men do this or that in public. Nonetheless, as I mentioned, we can push the switch button and change our views, guiding our focus towards a new event or thought.

Man with spectacles

While in the subway I noticed something weird at first sight: a young man (barely reaching his 30s) who spent about 40 seconds looking at his wrist watch. Why weird? Because, most certainly, when seeing something like this, we’re quick to thinking: “Why does it take him so long to read such a basic thing as the hour?” As first impulse, one could easily mock him and say: “Change your glasses, dude”. Yet, by observing his spectacles and mimic, the problem was beyond that… A closer (aka more careful) look would reveal a thick lens, pointing to high diopter.

I felt sorry for this young man, which – most certainly – was working in a corporation, as he got out of the subway to the same station as I did (corporate area of the city). On the other hand, I was happy that he was willing and capable of supporting his life, despite his obvious handicap.

As I was climbing the stairs to the surface, I thought about the ease our minds encounter in switching from one thing to another; one topic to the other; one state to another. We hold an incredible power to which we’re blind, most of our lives, as secondary aspects come first. But, as I say in most of my writings, choice is always free. Nonetheless, we choose to throw our innate gifts on 2nd, 3rd, 10th or even 30th place, granting priority to the less important facts.

But don’t take my word for granted. Just do it once. Be your own volunteer and try the focus switch. You may thank yourself later, as you get used to it and learn the benefits of mind games. Because “focus switch” is just a game, meant for us to really understand the strength within and the magic of discovering it.

Remember: change starts with one!

Love, A.

Acid spray!

Most of us, throughout this experience called a life, encounter beautiful people and people that are stubborn to keep their eyes closed to what the “humanity” term should express. Today, my choice of debate goes towards the second cathegory, which hurts the first, on purpose. 

[Listen to: Katy Perry – Roar]

I’ve come across so many malicious behaviors, that I decided to write about this. Not necessarily towards me, as I usually cut it off with a line, but in regards to people I’ve come to care for. However, this message is not just for defending someone in particular or for pointing a finger to a specific person. No, is a more elaborate message, meant to raise awareness to a wider range of today’s issues. One more point to be stressed out from the beginning: this is no feminist rebel yell, but a scream for HUMANITY!

Can’t wait for your comments…

Most of us, throughout this experience called a life, encounter beautiful people and people who are stubborn to keep their eyes closed to what the “humanity” term should express. Today, my choice of debate goes towards the second cathegory, which hurts the first, on purpose.

“You tough ones, let me tell you some of nowadays truths!

The age of men bringing food into the cave, using the only available weapon – the fist – is long-buried. But even the Neanderthals would respect their mating partners. (Of course, you will consider this offensive, but maybe it’s time you reconsidered some values and opened your eyes to the world around you!)

So, I tell you this…

You see women as the weak sex, therefore let me break it down for you. THIS IS W R O N G!!! Just take a look around you! You go to work, they do all the rest. Even more – admit the differences between you and them, considering just a flu or a toothache. I know you’ll find it hard to admit, but if you don’t, you’ll be stuck in your own black, void, mind forever.

Taking the last line, tell me, do you get that empowering feeling of rage against me, now? Will you – comfortably – troll this article? Would you get that triumphal look on your face if you punched me right now and took my teeth as proof of your victory? Or being compelled to look at my swallowed cheek or black eye after your swelling tide has passed would make your ego inflate? Do you feel that your manhood just bloomed if you marked me for life, just for defending your stupid ambition? Would your status get a boost if you bragged about all the horrible assaults I might have been the subject of?

Would all this make you feel man enough? (Take all the time you need, but I’m not sure you’ll pass this test!)

That was a minimal approach of the physical abuse. But what about the emotional one (be it based on cultural/ gender/ worth discrimination)? Can there be a feasible comparison between the 2?

Not sure about this. But I know that both of them leave bruises. And the mental abuse lasts longer. While my black, swollen eye recovers, the affected part of my brain takes continuous effort or even forever. So, before you open your mouth, you’d better do everyone a favor and use your brain. Shooting venomous lines may relieve you on the spot and give you that superiority degree boost and caress your ego, but you’ll be sorry for it. I will, eventually, get over you, but I will rise stronger than you could have ever imagined. And you’ll be left behind, crying your misery loudly in your full-of-my-heart’s-blood fists.

Take my friendly advice (while it lasts) and mind your own business. Take a looooong look in that narcissistic mirror of yours and use cleaning products to make it show your true face. I’m sure you’ll be shocked! Truth hurts! But it will not be me any longer. It will be your own self. And no one will take you out of your head and self-criticism, once you get there. You will have hurt too many people for someone to care for your wake-up call.

So, you should take the lesson on what you’ve done (again, this needs some balls to see and admit), forget about me and treat others with respect. Have you ever heard of this? Try turning the pages of a dictionary if you need additional information. Ah, but that may imply using your hands towards a noble purpose. Can you do that? Do you know how to instruct your hands to do that? Well, everything comes with exercise, so you’ll get the hang of it, eventually. But wait! That requires some coordination between brain and body. And you may get lost here…

As I’ve given too much of my energy to make you – a bully – the subject of my article, I’ll be happy to walk away now and let you check if you have a magnifier. To look for the invisible parts of a brain capable of so much malice and see if there’s any medicine that can heal something that was never there. (You’re confused now…) What was never there? A soul… compassion… love for others… goodwill… care… RESPECT (tough word)!

In the end, all women walk away, once they acknowledge self-worth and gain that power of rising. And they will find some “pussy” guy, who will never be man enough to hit or disrespect them. Such as yourself. You are a true man by doing this, right? As you have no weapons besides the fist and a devilish emptiness in your skull…

Imprint the following words on your retina:

All this behavior of yours betrays a terminal-phase complex, determined by the fear of being surpassed and/ or guided by a woman’s IQ! 

(Touché, puttycat!)

I love happy endings, so let me tell you one more thing, before I leave you helpless on the floor of your conscience (I wonder if you ever had one):

A woman will always get up, no matter what. And that pussy man beside her will give her a hand to help. Even if they will only be friends (another term you need to learn!), that man will stand up for defending her lost treasure – self-confidence.

Oh, and something else. You’ll be surprised to find out how many men would be ready to punch your face for trying to damage the strength of a woman!

So here, you found the happy ending. But you’re not part of it!”

My message to void brains ends here. But I have one more, for the affected side.

To all the ladies out there:

N E V E R   give up! Never bow your head because of doctrines! Speak up for yourselves! Search within your own soul, for there is where strength and happiness lay! Use your voice and don’t you be afraid! Stand up tall and N E V E R  let a “man” destroy your utmost treasure – YOU! You be your best friend and never give the opportunity of a hit (be it on physical or emotional side)! Discover your own selves and you will never settle for less than you deserve! Women are NOT worthy of less equity, while we breathe the  same air! Don’t let the fire burn you, but BECOME THE FLAME! 

Become the flameSo, here you are, a song to keep your chin up and boost self-confidence! This also goes out to all the ones who will never be men enough to hurt a woman, but choose to be the pussy to hold her hand and show RESPECT! Hat off for you, guys!

[Listen to: Stoneback – Stronger]

Love,
A.

Small is always better

The other day, on my way home from work, I took a short break into a small shop. Handmade stuff, beautiful things… But I was looking for a backpack, as the other one had its straps broken (I admit, I load backpacks like no one else!).

The other day, on my way home from work, I took a short break into a small shop. Handmade stuff, beautiful things… But I was looking for a backpack, as the other one had its straps broken (I admit, I load backpacks like no one else!).

So, I spent half an hour looking for a new one. Why so long? Because I pay much attention to details. For a backpack, inside and outside pockets (as many as possible) make the difference for me. So, that one had a color I like, but no pockets; the other had a tiny pocket, but uncomfortable closing system (zippers are my style…), etc.

Anyhow, in the end, I found the one I liked, at a convenient price (smaller than the others): a chocolate-brown color with 7 (!) pockets.

While trying to decide, I saw the above message, hanging comfy on a wall, desperately calling my name… Whispering those words… But I chose to be deaf, as I could not have taken it home that very evening.

You won’t believe the torture in my head…! My mind was silently scolding me for not opening my pocket and taking this valuable friend at home with me. Therefore, the next evening,  in order to escape the torment, I followed my heart and, after work, I saw nothing but the shop on my way. I could hear the words – still calling me – from the street. So, I stopped, bought and left… Holding my treasure tight, so that I would not hurt it. I wanted it to be the new guardian of my home.

As a consequence, I placed it in a safe spot, from where we can see each other and know we will always be there, no matter what…

You may wonder, now, what’s the exact purpose of such posting… 2 words: thorough reminder. Of an amazing principle I’ve been admiring lately and to which I want to remain faithful…

The more we count years, the more we realize what’s really important. I know, however, that there are people thinking that “bigger is always better”. I’ve come to accept the views of others, without feeling compelled to agree. So, I’ll carry on my explanation on why smaller is always better, in my opinion. Considering that we overlook small things everyday.

So, here you are, served with my point of view…

Small things help us enjoy every day. They are well-put, somewhere, waiting for us to find them. To let them show us why life is worth living with every second. And the way they are capable of spicing up a moment or melt another…

If we take only the example of a salad: is made out of small bits of vegetables. However, something smaller mends it, in the end. Think of a salad with no salt, or pepper, or oil, or vinegar, whatever pleases your taste. Now, picture the same, with the added value of the mentioned tiny friends. Can you feel the difference?

The same principle applies to everything…

Think of today’s technology. If you lack the charger of your phone/ tablet/ laptop and the battery runs lower each minute, does this small detail make a difference to your means of  communication?

On a deeper level…

Does a small “I missed you!” make you melt? Does a shy smile make you smile back? Does a small, heartfelt, “I love you!” make you feel like the whole world is yours and there’s nothing else you would need in that very moment?

The last thing I would appreciate you to take the time of thinking about, especially when you cannot find something to be thankful for: does water and the roof above your head make a difference?

I know that I want to collect small things (smiles, drawings of my kids, laughs, etc.) pile them up and let them  change an old mindset… Will YOU?

Love,
A.

Fly, fly, butterfly…

While I keep myself anchored in the now, I prepare myself to let them go. As soon as they’re ready. But this is another aspect. How do we know when they are ready?

Once we give birth, we see kids as a trophy. A sign of our accomplishment. And we struggle to save them from the bad and the unconventional.

But why is it that we do that? Is it because we’re trying to guide them on the right track? Whose right track? Theirs? Or pushing them to follow a pattern? Or are we trying to pursue them to follow a path we, ourselves, were too afraid of taking or did not succeed on?

Releasing butterflies

These are questions I always ask myself, in the process of raising them. Just see it like this… Once they grow up, are they really only ours? Or should we let them fly and understand that they belong to themselves, first, and to the vast world as well?

So instead of making them follow what society wants, why can’t we guide them to see and go for what THEY want?

Yes, is a hard task. But we can do it if we want to. This will bring them closer to us (paradoxically, right?). Because they will understand how much we trust them and how much we want them to follow their own dreams. And see the freedom we provide, instead of keeping them glued to our lives.

I hear the “they’re too young for this” formula so often! But let me burst your bubble: that’s wrong! The sooner you leave choice to their hands, the sooner they learn how to handle it and take charge of consequences. Plus, remember that life is no pink unicorn …😉 (This way of raising my kids may be subject of controversy, but this is solely my view about teaching them how to use their brains.)

Going even further, this is what I do…
While I keep myself anchored in the now, I prepare myself to let them go. As soon as they’re ready. But this is another aspect. How do we know when they are ready? We don’t. They do

So, I’ll grant them the space they need and make sure their wings spread, in a continuous effort of soaring, as unconventionally as they may feel.

In the same time, I hope I’ll be capable of providing good advice (we never know what’s the best, afterall) and support their genuineness.

Becoming aware of the fact that we will never be able to save them from deceit or prevent from making mistakes may adjust a bit our perspective over their future and the term “liberty”.

Short example: my kids want spinners, yet something holds me back from granting this wish. My explanation to them (I always make sure I explain why) wasI don’t agree or approve you using them, as they damage this and that. If you want using it to affect this and that, I’ll be ok with buying you one“. Their answer? “No

So, I go like this:

For our kids’ sake, we should educate ourselves first. To let them be. Offer them the information they need to find themselves and, eventually, let them fly…

Love,
A.

Journey of our lives

But in the end, when the moment comes, is it that we take anything with us?

I told you that everything can turn into a topic. Therefore, here is the song that took me to this article. A positive, yet thought provoking song. Enjoy!

[Listen to: Alma Mater – The Journey]

After listening, please ask yourselves: where do we go and what is the speed we go by?

Is it worth? All this fuss, all the pain of  money hunting, all the worries and all the loss of little things that might easily make a difference, yet we never have the time for?

We’re always in a hurry… Take kids to school, kindergarten, whatsoever. Run to the office. Work at least 8 hours per day. Run back to pick up the kids. Bathe, feed, sleep. Repeat! 5 days a week. Tens of weeks per year. 8 months in a row (the other 4 are reserved to holiday time – that you have no idea how to cover).

Thinking objectively, where does all this take us? Do we get to pick any satisfaction from all this busy life? Is there even a small thing that we can enjoy or are we too tired, at the end of the day, to even give a damn?

Let’s say that, 1 week per year, we could afford a vacation. But can we choose the destination we wish for or is it that we need to settle for anything we can get, just to escape – for a short while – from the mundaine? 

So, we hunt for money. But is it for us? Or for someone else? What’s the percentage we get out of the total amount we make as profit for an employer? This would be an interesting debate…

But in the end, when the moment comes, is it that we take anything with us? I believe the only thing would be the lessons we learned. So that, if there is such thing as another life, we’ll be aware of not making the same mistakes, but others, in order to learn new things.

When the courtain falls, we’re just souls that need to evolve. Having said that, I ask myself: then why are we so stubborn in ignoring the only thing that really matters – the soul? Why are we so deaf and never listen to it? Can’t we see that this fake society, rooted in thousands-years doctrines, is a sucker for the shine and glory of a soul? 

I guess not… We are complacent… We’re afraid of raising our voices when we should. Not to mention how scared we are to take a stand and say: “That’s not for me, I see my life from another angle!

I like the word “choice“. It’s so powerful! And offers us so much freedom. If only could we understand that…

Love,
A.