7 Lacăte (capitolul 1)

Zăcând pe marginea patului, era pierdută în lumea ei. Privea pe geam, însă gândurile ei zburdau neîncetat până la cer și dincolo de el.

De o vedea cineva din depărtare, ar fi părut cea mai calmă femeie de pe fața pământului. Însă, dacă cineva ar fi voit să se afunde în mintea ei, ar fi dat peste dezlănțuirea nemiloasă a unei tornade…

⚜️ TUNETUL MINȚII ⚜️

Zăcând pe marginea patului, era pierdută în lumea ei. Privea pe geam, însă gândurile ei zburdau neîncetat până la cer și dincolo de el.

De o vedea cineva din depărtare, ar fi părut cea mai calmă femeie de pe fața pământului. Însă, dacă cineva ar fi voit să se afunde în mintea ei, ar fi dat peste dezlănțuirea nemiloasă a unei tornade.

Odată cu apusul soarelui, după ore nesfârșite de privit la un du-te-vino continuu al norilor, și privirea ei se ascunse după linia orizontului. Ochii ei căzură pe podea, exact la timp ca inima să-i înlemnească! Tot ceea ce se petrecuse în mintea ei până atunci luă o turnură diferită, însă cu un grad de intensitate de nedescris. Trupul îi încremeni! Nu-i venea a-și crede ochilor! Cum se putea întâmpla așa ceva tocmai în casa ei curată ca lacrima?! Era absolut inacceptabil!

Mânia îi fu curând înlocuită de acel dezgust amestecat cu teamă și nu putea decide care dintre simțăminte era mai puternic. Preț de câteva momente, îi fu imposibil să miște un deget, însă îi urmărea mișcările cu privirea, în timp ce el se apropia cu nerușinare de piciorul ei. Ea se îmbărbăta continuu să facă o mișcare, însă înainte ca ea să clipească măcar el spuse:

– Te uiți la mine de parcă aș fi cel mai mare inamic al tău. Însă trebuie să știi că eu sunt cel mai inofensiv gând al tău, ce l-ai avut de curând.

Dezgustul și sperietura se preschimbară în curiozitate, deși se credea nebună de legat. Așa că abia rosti:

– De unde știi tu așa ceva? 

Însă imediat își spune sieși:

– Doamne, mă tem că îmi pierd mințile. Aud voci și vorbesc cu un… Păianjen! Vai!

Însă micul târâtor vorbi din nou:

– Oi fi eu negru și deloc plăcut privirii tale, însă crede-mă că sunt cel mai inofensiv gând al tău. Ar trebui, mai degrabă, să te temi de monștrii aceia înalți de 1500 metri pe care-i găzduiești în mintea ta. Eu am reușit să scap de acolo și am luat această formă hâdă că să înțelegi ce pericol se ascunde înăuntrul tău. Însă armata de monștri care încă locuiește acel teritoriu este cu mult mai înspăimântătoare decât înfățișarea mea sau decât ce aș fi eu vreodată în stare să îți fac. Dacă ei ar scăpa de acolo și ar ajunge în această lume, te-ai încuia singură într-o temniță, ca să te asiguri că ești în siguranță. Poarta temniței ar fi ferecată cu șapte lacăte și șapte zăvoare, iar geamurile ar fi ascunse de draperii negre. Ai prefera să fii înconjurată de ciment rece și fără de speranță.

– Îmi dai fiori, micuțule! spuse ea. 

Și apoi adăugă: 

– De ce ai face asta? Să scapi de acolo și să vii la mine cu așa cuvinte?

– Pentru că trebuie neapărat să găsești o cale să distrugi acea armată. Altfel ești pierdută pe vecie. Îți vei petrece restul vieții uitându-te pe fereastră, însă îți vei pierde și toate șansele de a-ți împlini visele.

– Ascultă… păianjenule! Ceea ce îmi spui tu nu face altceva decât să îmi confirme că îmi pierd mințile! răspunse ea.

– Fie! Nu mă asculta! spuse păianjenul, dându-și ochii peste cap. Du-te la vânătoare de monștri și anunță-mă când te întorci! Spre nemulțumirea ta, voi fi aici și mâine dimineață. Și poimâine. Și în fiecare zi, până când vei găsi o cale să ieși din propria-ți minte sau să faci curățenie pe acolo. Dar ar fi bine să știi că pe măsură ce întârzii monștrii se vor înmulți. Și pe măsură ce îți pierzi credința, ei devin mai puternici. Așa că poate ar fi bine să te grăbești.

– Bine. Presupunând că nu imi vorbești în fabule, ai vreun sfat să-mi dai? spuse femeia neîncrezătoare și cu o atitudine sfidătoare.

– Dacă îți dau eu sfaturi, treaba ta unde începe? Eu sunt aici ca să îți atrag atenția, nu ca să te ajut, spuse păianjenul îndepărtându-se.

Femeia era intrigată. Bineînțeles că știa ce se petrecea în mintea ei. Dar cine era păianjenul ăla, până la urmă? Și de de a trebuit să ia forma aia?

Dacă era un lucru ce-i lipsea ei, acela era ajutorul. Și păianjenul a refuzat să i-l ofere? Ce fel de creatură era aia?

Tonul ei sfidător și lipsit de încredere erau numai de suprafață. Ea credea fiecare cuvânt din povestea creaturii târâtoare, mai ales pentru că nimic nu era fals. Ceea ce spusese păianjenul înfățișa tot ceea ce încercase ea să evite. Interiorul ei era sfâșiat și avea nevoie de tot ajutorul existent. Însă cum? Și când? Și…. De unde să primească acest ajutor?

Toate aceste întrebări prinseseră viață în mintea ei, de ceva vreme. De ar fi fost posibil să o salveze cineva! Nu se putea descurca singură!

Însă mai era ceva. Ea își construise în timp acel scut din jurul ei. Oamenii nu ascultau, iar asta o făcuse să își piardă credința în umanitate. Prin urmare, ea se transformase în victima propriei ei minți; devenise o persoană care nu mai simțea râvna de a se ridica din pat și nu mai simțea nevoia de a căuta bucuria vieții. Se simțea blestemată să fie victima deznădejdii, pentru totdeauna.

Însă numai dacă nu făcea vreo schimbare… 

Of, dar toată treaba asta cu oamenii oare chiar era de neevitat? 

Femeia începu un dialog cu ea însăși:

– De ce trebuie să interacționăm noi oamenii? De ce oare nu putem să rezolvam noi singuri totul? De ce Dumnezeu avem noi nevoie de ajutorul altora?

Apoi, lăsându-și din nou capul în pământ, ea se pierdu în procesul de introspecție, pentru prima dată după mult timp. Creatura aia chiar o făcuse să gândească:

– Of, de-a-și putea să înfrâng toți acei monștri pe cont propriu! Cât mi-aș dori să fiu cea mai puternică femeie din lume! Mă întreb dacă am vreo șansă să îmi conduc singură viața și mintea… Atât m-am săturat de părerile oamenilor! Cum rămâne cu ceea ce cred eu? Oare eu contez? Oare merită să mă agit?

Cu un oftat sonor, se prăbuși din nou pe pernă, în timp ce ochii ei se ridicară din nou spre cer și rămaseră pierduți în peisaj. Deși mintea ei alerga de colo până colo și era ocupată cu tot felul de gânduri, la un moment dat somnul puse stăpânire pe trupul ei, preț de mai multe ore. Un somn benefic, în urma celor întâmplate. Numai frica de acel păianjen îi scăzuse nivelul energiei la 50%.

În timpul petrecut cu ochii închiși, avu un vis cât se poate de real. 

*

Se făcea că mergea încrezătoare pe un strat de gheață gata să se surpe. Dintr-odată, de nicăieri, se ivi o sumedenie de dragoni de culori, forme și mărimi diferite. Ea se găsi într-o așa stare că nu putea decide ce ar fi fost mai rău: să fie devorată de acei dragoni sau să se piardă în adâncul stratului de gheață ce se putea crăpa oricând sub picioarele ei.

Însă ceva era și mai ciudat în visul ei – totul se întâmpla sub soarele arzător al verii. Oare cum rezista gheața aia?

Cu toate acestea, regele cald al cerului nu o putea scăpa. Trupul îi îngheță de frică și ea căzu în genunchi. Voia să țipe, însă corzile ei vocale erau moarte. Tremurul inimii sale putea stârni un adevărat cutremur, însă, în acel moment, ea lăsă capul în pământ, își împreună mâinile și trase adânc aer în piept.

Acceptarea părea să-i fie scăpare… 

In acel stadiu al vieții sale, ea nu-și pierduse doar speranța că omenia încă exista, ci și credința în puterea supremă ce guverna lumea. Însă, odată ce își împreună mâinile, un gând răsună ca un tunet în mintea ei:

– Doamne… Tu Univers… Sau orișice forță ai fi tu acolo…. Am nevoie de îndrumare. Serios! Știu că nu ți-am dat atenție în trecut… sau, probabil niciodată în viața asta, însă am nevoie de putere. Îmi doresc să devin acest altcineva. Dă-mi o mână de ajutor! Nu mă poți lăsa să pier!

Și închise ochii. 

Acceptarea era, într-adevăr o opțiune, așa că o îmbrățișă. Însă era prea tânără pentru tot acest scenariu. Avea toată viața înainte și își dădu seama că trebuia să schimbe ceva. Însă era sleită de puteri.

Într-un final, se prăbuși pe stratul subțire al gheții oricând gata să se crape. Se afundă în lumea inconștienței și nici măcar speranța într-un ajutor supranatural nu mai reuși să îi fie sprijin în simțiri.

Pentru moment, trupul său predă victoria. 

*

În urma acestui episod din visul său, toate credințele-i conștiente se zguduiră din temelii. Se trezi speriată, la ceas de noapte târzie, înconjurată de întuneric. Draperiile camerei sale fuseseră create în așa fel încât să țină departe orice strop de lumină. Nu era ea, oare, norocoasă că uitase să le tragă în totalitate peste ferestre? 

Când își dădu seama de acest gând, fu în stare să zărească o rază de lumină, trimisă de lună, care se furișase prin spațiul descoperit al geamului.

– Ah, da! Asta este! spuse în șoaptă, de parcă cineva dormea lângă ea. Lumina lunii este schimbarea mea. Aceea este raza mea de speranță și salvarea mea! Oh, atotputernicule, acum știu sigur că ești undeva acolo. Mulțumesc pentru acest vis înfricoșător. Se pare că aveam nevoie de așa ceva!

Apoi își aminti de păianjen și de toată acea poveste teribilă despre dinozaurii din mintea ei. Și fiecare cuvințel pe care acea creatura mică și dezgustătoare i-l adresase. Doamne, avea dreptate! El n-o putea ajuta. Nimeni n-ar fi putut. Numai ea putea schimba toate astea. Exact cum raza lunii ii schimbase ei modul de gândire. Acea rază minusculă, ce probabil părea fără noimă pentru mulți, însemna totul pentru ea.

Deși era 2 noaptea, își azvârli pătura cât colo, își puse papucii și coborî în bucătărie. Foamea îi stârnise o adevărată bătălie în stomac, fiindcă ea fusese mult prea ocupată să-și plângă de milă și uitase să mănânce.

Acele imagini vii din visul său o urmăriră în tot timpul pregătirii gustării. În consecință, ea nu prea dădu multă atenție la ceea ce scotea din frigider sau la gestul de a mânca, în sine. Mintea ei era ca un hamster ce aleargă în continuu pe o roată vrăjită.

Însă avea un gând ce părea să le încuie pe toate celelalte: toată viaţa ei fusese aidoma visului – înspăimântătoare. Fugise de responsabilitate, fugise de ea însăși și refuzase cu tot dinadinsul să ceară ajutor. Bine, oamenii tot nu se numărau printre favoriții ei, însă își dădu seama că de data asta trebuia să se numere ea printre favoriți. 

În timp ce mânca în mod automat, ceva și mai neașteptat avu loc. Pentru a doua oară în viața ei, părea că se uită la ea însăși, cumva din exterior. Văzu intensitatea luminii din ochii ei mari și verzi; își văzu părul negru și lung căzându-i pe umeri și pe spatele-I drept; își văzu mâinile, acoperite de pielea strălucitoare si creolă, ținând furculița și ducând-o cu grație la gură. Era prima dată în viața ei când se vedea exact așa cum era – o femeie frumoasă, care se inecase în oceane de tristețe pentru mult prea mult timp.

Acea poză animată a ei însăși era, în fapt, raza schimbării. Nu raza sfioasă a lunii ce pătrunsese în camera ei și pe care ea o crezuse a fi licărirea de speranță. Era ea. Ea era ceea ce căutase pentru a putea face o schimbare; ea era acel cineva pe care trebuia să se poată baza; ea era acel aliat de încredere pe care nu fusese în stare să îl vadă până atunci. Era ea cea care avea totul la îndemână!

În clipa în care văzu din nou totul prin ochii săi umani, se simțea de parcă s-ar fi întors din cea mai incredibilă călătorie. Gândi sieși:

– O, doamne! Ce-a fost asta? Să se întâmple din nou? Nu, nu se poate așa ceva!

Spre surprinderea ei, odată ieșită din acea stare de transă, simți cum făptura ei este inundată de energie. Ar fi putu dansa, de nu ar fi gândit că se face de râs, la acea oră târzie. Era în stare să iasă pe străzi și să-și strige fericire lunii și stelelor. Dar, din nou, se credea sărită de pe fix. Totuși, contrar voinței sale, toate aceste simțăminte erau de o intensitate grozavă. Habar n-avea de unde veniseră, însă era hotărâtă să nu le lase să-i scape. Toate astea îi dădeau o stare de bine mult prea frumoasă pentru a le pierde.

Pentru prima dată după mult timp (de fapt, întâia oară în viața ei) se simțea de neînvins. Se simțea demnă de propriul ei respect! Simțea că ar fi putut escalada cel mai înalt munte; ba mai mult, că ar fi putut ajunge chiar până în vârf, privind apoi lumea de acolo, de după linia orizontului.

La un moment dat, de parcă ar fi vorbit cu altcineva, își spuse:

– Mai fată, ce-i cu tine? Cum de n-ai văzut toate astea până acum? Și de ce acum? Ce nebunie! Oare îți pierzi mințile? Oare ce o fi cu toată energia asta ce-ți curge prin vene? Și… și ai de gând să faci ceva în privința asta?

La fel cum făcuse până atunci, tendința ei fu să se prăbușească înapoi pe scaun. Însă pur și simplu n-a putut. Zici că era cuprinsă de magie. 

Își spuse cu tărie:

– Da, asta trebuie să fie! Îmi pompează magie în suflet. Și magia asta o să mă scoată din toate astea. Magia asta mă va ajuta să înving acei dinozauri de 1500 de metri din mintea mea. O, Doamne, păianjenul avea dreptate! Pur și simplu el a trebuit să apară ca să am visul ăla. Și visul ăla trebuia să se întâmple ca să mă pot vedea din exterior. Și, văzându-mă din exterior, am reușit să îmi dau seama de ceea ce sunt. O, Doamne, nu-mi vine să cred! N-aș fi zis vreodată că o întâmplare atât de înfricoșătoare îmi va putea schimba modul de gândire în așa manieră!

În ciuda tuturor acestor gânduri pozitive, mai era unul, care nu-i dădea pace. Parcă voia să-i întunece mințile:

– Dar de ce acum? De ce nu mai înainte? 

Odată cu înfiriparea ultimului gând, femeia tresări cât colo. Auzi ecoul unei voci venind dinspre hol:

– Draga mea, unele lucruri ar fi bine să rămână fără răspuns. Ține sentimentul acela în strânsoarea inimii tale. Dă-i voie să îți ghideze pașii mai departe. Nu mai întreba “de ce”! Ieși din mintea ta și trăiește! Ia-o de la început și încrede-te în necunoscut.

Și vocea se stinse, odată ce femeia fugi către hol. 

Eroina noastră tremura de frică, din nou. Nu știa ce să creadă. Cu toate acestea, băgă la cap ceea ce auzi. Într-un fel, teama pe care o simțea acum era diferită, deși gândul că își pierde mințile, cu adevărat, iar se ivi.

Însă de data asta se decise să acționeze astfel. Se hotărî să-și adune toate puterile, în ciuda inimii inundate de teroare, și astfel găsi curajul să spună:

– Cine ești? Și de unde vii? De unde știi toate astea? Ești cumva tot acel păianjen?

Își coborî privirea, în căutarea prietenului târâtor, însă nu zări nimic. Se uită pe tavan, pe pereți, în depărtare… tot nimic. Dar era convinsă că era el. Însă, unde să-l găsească?

Cu o voce caldă, ea rosti:

– Te rog, ieși de unde ai fi! Îmi pare sincer rău pentru comportamentul meu de mai devreme. Îți promit să nu te mai iau în răspăr. Și promit să nu mă mai tem de tine. O să mă port frumos. Vreau numai să-ți mulțumesc pentru că mi te-ai arătat.

Fiind atât de ancorată în părerea ei, nu-și dădu seama că nu era păianjenul. Îl tot striga. Dar el dispăruse deja, din momentul în care ea se trezise din vis. Scopul lui se împlinise deja, așa că renunță la forma fizică și se întoarse în minte ei, sub forma celui mai inofensiv gând.

De data aceasta, era altcineva…

***

‼️Vă rog evitați plagiatul! Textul îmi aparține în totalitate și face parte din cartea menționată în titlu‼️

🖋️ 💙

Who is Arian?

If you followed my posts (on social media: LinkedIn, Facebook & Instagram) and/ or podcast episodes, you may already know who that is. It can also be easily found here.

If not, you may want to check the video below and look for the link to the revolutionary free advertising platform called WorkApp Pty Ltd). 😉

Feel free to let me know your thoughts in comments. 🤭


https://workapp.world/business/The-Man-the-Moon-and-the-Casquette—A-Self-development-Book/TjJObVk2UzFBc2pnRG5KQUc2MFJOZz09

And remember: Smile at life and life will smile right back at you! 🙃

🖋️ 💙

PS: A new episode from the #bookinsightsseries with Rahila Khan in a few hours. ☺ Check out ImpactByChoicepodcast (also available via WorkApp Pty Ltd) and give it a like if you want to stay up to date to the latest episodes. In tomorrow’s interview, at 6pm EEST, you will hear from a beautiful lady called Catherine (Cat) Daar. 😉

The man, the moon and the casquette – Chapter 1 (full)

A simple man

During daytime, he’s a hero for the others. Yet, when the night-time comes, he walks dragging his feet towards what seems to be a lifetime in disbelief.

People adore him. People praise him. And people say that all the words in the world are not enough to thank him for his deeds.

But he finds it hard to believe. He can barely speak without blushing. He exudes confidence, but in his heart self-belief is terribly shaking. He’s been through a lot in the past, which prevents him to see his true value. He believes in everyone else but himself. When he talks to someone, the only words he can spread are of goodness. He has a blare around him to which people cannot resist. But he can’t see it…

When he gets home at night, he feels alone. He has no family around, no kids to brighten his life and his parents can’t accept him for being different than all the others.

His mother told him once, in a mocking voice:

“You’re just a man who can’t see beyond his selfish existence. You don’t get married, you’re already old to have kids. What’s going on with you? What will people say about the way you live your life in? You’re a shame to this family! All you do is stay on the streets all day long. But you can’t support your existence. You’re almost 40, for the mercy of God!”

This made him leave his parents’ house, for the second time. Because his parents don’t actually know what he dedicates his life to. They don’t care. And even if they did, they wouldn’t understand… Their vision on life is too old. They only see what “it always have been this way”.

But who is he, in fact?

Arian has small hazel eyes, light blonde hair, thin rebel eyebrows and his stature is the one of a 15 years old skinny boy, although his real age is 38. His mouth does not match the rest of his figure, as his lips are voluptuous and strongly colored in red. But when he smiles, his teeth shine like a diamond. Pure white and they are so straight that his mouth seems to be the most beautiful part of his body. His ears help us envision a man who is not handsome, his neck is long and his shoulders are curved ahead. His body is covered in some kind of shady-blue robe and his feet are outlined by a pair of black leather sandals.

At first sight, he may easily be labeled as a beggar to people who know nothing about him or his life. Regardless, he never goes unnoticed, due to his way of smiling to everyone. As an antithesis to his figure, his smile is so warm that it attracts people like magnets. Whenever he passes by, he leaves a trait of blessing behind him, which people cannot explain. Nonetheless, they let themselves wrapped in his blare…

You see… He’s so humble because he often thinks about the shallow image that people see. They see an ugly yet charismatic superhero. But he thinks to himself:

“I don’t deserve all this. I am just an apprentice of life, who never ceases an attempt to learn a difficult spell. What makes me so special in the eyes of all these people?”

He questions everything and he can never rest on the laurels people would build him a palace from. He can’t walk on the path of life by just doing what society wants him to. He’s been hurt for not fitting in with the cool kids, when he was younger. But now… Now he clearly understands the blessing of being different. But that’s exactly why he can’t understand why people like him so much. That’s exactly why, when complimented, his skin turns as red as a boiled lobster’s.

*****

A few years back…

In his early 20s, he tried hard to find his way, as per society’s rules. He took on a random job, he never graduated from university (though he forced himself to like chemistry and to see himself as a successful “lab rat”), he was never being invited to parties and he never managed to ask a woman out. He was shy. Some people may have called him arrogant because of this, but he would lose his words when talking to others. And society only agrees with shallow chatter and loud voices that say nothing.

Probably this is the reason why he never went on a date. Most certainly, this is why he would spend most of his afternoons, evenings and nights crying in his fists for not fitting in. And that’s exactly why his parents would deny him as their child. They were very jovial, always surrounded by a lot of people, having their house full of fake admirers who never questioned life or what their real purpose on earth was.

Arian disliked those meetups, as the house sounded like a never-empty club. He could barely rest his head on his pillow, as drunk people would invade his small room, looking for a place to puke in. But he didn’t have the courage to stand up for his privacy. He was afraid to voice his mind to his parents, because most of the times they wouldn’t even notice that he was there. His parents were too distracted with living “a rich social life” and they actually hated their kid for not obeying the rules of glamour.

Consequently, his life on the streets looked more appealing to him. He would leave the house first thing in the morning, while his parents were still sleeping after a night of deprivation. And he wouldn’t come back within the 4 walls of his room until he felt drained by the people walking in crowds. Or if he was cold. Or disappointed by the trends people would leave themselves prey to. There were days when he just wanted to embrace his pillow, stretch his legs comfortably in his bed and have a loooooooong restful sleep. Silence was his only wish and he soon realized the improbability of getting it if he continued to be hosted by his parents’ house.

This existence of his went on for 15 years in a row, without the slightest change, as he was too scared to do something about it. He would bite his tongue and cover his ears, but he felt miserable.

Until then… Until the year he turned 35. He couldn’t carry that burden on his shoulders any longer. He couldn’t Iive in a continuous state of ill mind. He was too tired of it. So, with his heart in his throat, he decided…

On a freezing cold 3rd of December day, he packed everything he had, carefully wrapped all his books in a piece of cloth, stole something from the fridge (which was too empty anyway), threw everything in a partially torn backpack and off he went. He never looked back. He had no idea where he was going or what he would be doing the next day. The only thing he knew was that he’s had enough and that he needed to look for himself. The REAL self!

The moment he set foot outside of his parents’ house, he felt relieved. He felt like all the burden of living in the dim light of grey skies fell off his shoulders. He knew that a new beginning was to be unfolded in front of him and, in that very moment, he looked up to the sky, closed his eyes, opened his arms as if he was about to receive someone for a hug in his arms and clearly spoke:

“I will accept whatever comes to me. Challenges, lessons, happiness or sorrow. I am now open to draw my own path and I surrender my entire being to the will of the higher power. I now know that everything happens for a reason and I am seeking for the most valuable asset of my life. People think that peace of mind is a myth, but I know it’s not. I know that there must be more than what people want to see. I FEEL that all my questions will be answered, at some point. And I want to pass along what I will learn.”

And so, while walking further and further from the house, his thoughts seemed to gather up in an explosion of joy. His entire being had circuits inside and the spark of new beginnings installed in his heart. The hazel color of his eyes was so bright! And his mind would start to only host the blessed belief in a sunny life.

No more grey. No more sadness. No more feeling lonely. And no more parties and loud voices of people with no value.

He had a way of loving his parents… Or was it just the respect for giving him birth? He used to question this frequently. But in that moment, he knew that – regardless of his love or respect for them – he needed to set himself free from their chains of hate. And he always had the golden key. But he was afraid to use it. He was scared of the “what if”. He was terrified about living on his own. And, being very honest to himself, he was scared of being judged for being different. He never thought about himself as being special, but different. Because the inherited definition of the word “special” would suggest a person of great success, with a brilliant mind.

However, his parents never told him. They used to hide from him the fact that he was a genius. He never found out about the results of the IQ tests he passed in an exquisite manner when he was 7 years of age. And by the age of 10. And again by the age of 16. His parents had him tested a lot, as they had average IQs, they got jealous of his high level of understanding life and they secretly wanted him to fail, in whatever he did. All the test results would suggest a not-so-ordinary future and that was too hard for his parents to accept. So, in continuous attempts to put him down, they would always tell him he was no good; that he was a mistake of fate; and that he would never be accepted by his peers.

The morning he left his parents’ house was freezing cold, but the fire that ignited in Arian’s being was so intense that he couldn’t feel the adversity of the weather. Once he made the decision to embrace acceptance and let himself in the hands of the Almighty, his footsteps gained a security he never knew before. He felt his fists getting clenched against his will, as if he was about to fight back against rusty doctrines. He held his head up high and it was the first time when he understood that he has always been better than the life he was exposed to.

The road in front of him was covered in snow and icy bits every here and there. But, as he started moving, lifting his feet covered in heavy winter boots, it was as if even the sun wanted to come out from behind the clouds, to accompany Arian on his self-discovery journey.

After 1 hour of wandering and defeating the cruel weather, he found a place where he could rest his body for a few minutes, while having breakfast and a cup of hot tea. When he opened the door, he saw an old lady (must have been around 80) who greeted him with a tender voice:

“Be blessed, child for choosing to stop here. Please, come inside. I will prepare the best table for you and I will bring you our chef’s specialty. What about a cup of hot chocolate as well?”

Arian was so pleased with the greeting that he could hug the old lady had he not been afraid of the lady considering his gesture as inappropriate. No-one ever greeted him like that before! No-one would ever ask him what he wanted! And no-one has ever offered him the best place to stay at. So, by witnessing this, he knew that his decision of accepting everything coming his way was the best he has ever made!

“I would like a cup of tea instead, please. If it’s not too much of a bother” Arian replied.

“Of course. Whatever you wish. Any preference on the flavor?” the old lady asked.

“Mint would be great, if available” Arian said.

As the lady was already heading to the kitchen, she asked over her shoulder:

“Why are you outside on such a cruel weather, son?”

Arian thought a few seconds before he could answer. He wasn’t sure if he should tell the lady his real reason, so he said (as to himself):

“I have some urgent stuff to attend…”

“I didn’t hear that, young man” the lady said.

But then she showed up with a plate full of food and the hot cup of mint tea. The joint smells of the meal hypnotized Arian and he could barely wait to settle his hunger. But he was somehow ashamed, because the lady was observing him.

“My name is Rada” the woman said, to loosen up the atmosphere a bit.

“Nice to meet you, madam” Arian said. “I am indeed pleased to have stopped here. I have hardly ever seen someone as kind as yourself” Arian continued, just before having the first bite of the breakfast.

“Please, call me Rada” the old lady said. “People see me old and they feel compelled to call me madam. But I was never fond of this word, young man. What is your name?”

“Please excuse me for addressing to you in a manner you don’t enjoy. It was never my intention to…” tried Arian to apologize to the lady.

But he didn’t finish the sentence, when Rada said:

“That’s OK. Don’t worry about it. Now let’s chat as old friends. Would you like that?”

“Uhmm… Of course” Arian mumbled.

He didn’t know for sure what her intention was. He felt weird about all this sudden offer of friendship. But then he recalled his decision, made that very morning – “I will accept whatever comes to me.” The moment he recalled that, he felt at ease and replied:

“Actually… Uhmm… Yes, I would love that. I never had a friend… And… Uhm… My name is Arian, ma…”

“Rada. Remember – Rada, not madam. I am very happy to be your first friend” the old lady replied. “Now, eat. We can chat after you’re done. I have a feeling that we have a lot to talk about, my dear friend.”

Arian was caught barehanded here. He didn’t know how and if to react to the old lady’s reply. So he chose to do as she recommended and didn’t make any other sound until he finished everything in his plate.

He just left the fork off his hand when Rada was already near him.

“I hope you enjoyed the meal” she said. “I made it for you with all my love and I hope it will give you the necessary strength to carry on with your journey.”

Arian was confused. Rada previously said that she wanted to talk to him and now she just wanted him gone? But Rada didn’t give him more time to think about what she said, as she continued:

“But not before you tell me what your story is. I want to learn more about you. You seem lost, yet I get the sense that you are a very nice young man. What’s your truth, Arian?”

That question was a first for the young man. No-one asked him what was in his heart before. No-one actually seemed to have even noticed him, as a human being. He felt uneasy, but for some reason he felt he could trust her. Or was it the need to finally speak his mind? In any case, he started:

“Well… I… I just left my parents’ house. Too much noise… I just couldn’t resist any longer. I always felt rejected. I always felt like I never belonged there…”

“I did the same when I was young, Arian” Rada replied “I know how painful it is to not have your own spot. I know how hard it is not to be accepted for who you are. And I know exactly how it feels to be willing to find yourself”

“You… You did the same?” Arian asked with a surprise in his eyes that almost made the old lady laugh. But she just couldn’t laugh and make him feel bad.

“Yes, Arian. Well, not exactly, but I will tell you my story later on.” Rada said. “So I completely empathize with you… You know what? You can stay here, if you wish. I won’t charge you for hosting you, all I want is a true friendship. I want to learn what happened and I want you to never hide anything from me. Because I want to help you. There was no-one there for me in my early days of despair. I had no shoulder to cry on and not an ear to hear me out. But I want to be here for you and teach you everything I learned in the last 60 years. Will you take the hand I’m lending you?”

Arian was shocked. Both by the old lady’s confession and by the offer. He was never offered a shoulder, needless to say about a helping hand. Yes, he wanted to take her offer, but he was afraid of becoming a burden for the old lady. And he was fairly pretty afraid of revealing the pain in his soul, as he has just met Rada.

While he was going through all these emotions and just before opening his mouth to answer, Rada said:

“I also know how hard you find it to trust me. I felt the same. And don’t you worry about being a burden for me, young man. You will not become one. You will help me out around here. I can teach you how to cook, amongst others; I can teach you how to treat this place as if it was your own; and I will teach you how to treat customers and the personnel with love, regardless of your inner hurt.”

Rada already had something in mind, from the moment the young man came in. She had a gift. And that gift was to sense the energy of people entering her place.

Https://andradasworld.com

Story of 2 souls – another book excerpt – main characters’ description

Today I choose to share another book excerpt with you all. Actually 2, describing the main characters. This book will be my piece of writing introducing you to the world of a madly in love woman… Is like a surgery on an open heart…

But that’s all I will tell you. I would love to learn your feedback!

Today I choose to share another book excerpt with you all. Actually 2, describing the main characters. This book will be my piece of writing introducing you to the world of a madly in love woman… Is like a surgery on an open heart…

But that’s all I will tell you. I would love to learn your feedback!


Excerpt from Chapter 2

     In another corner of the same city, a boy was born, 2 years after Red Diamond came to this world. He was destined to be a great character, being gifted with an amazing mind and a golden heart.  Over the years, this boy would become a numbers’ magician, successfully playing with them in any related field.

     He was tall, having just about the right height of a handsome man; his figure was outlined by a black thick curly hair, sprinkled with white, here and there. His hazel eyes were the ones to inspire genuine trust and warmth and love for humanity. His nose would smell lies from a thousand miles, making it the assistant anyone would die for. His lips were just what the doctor ordered: right width, passion was what they inspired and their color were of a healthy man; they were the most appropriate curtain for a perfectly fit pair of white teeth and were just the thing for unleashing his well-thought words. His neck was the bridge to a nice pair of shoulders, always found in a straight position. These 2 shoulders, designed as if they were watch towers, would ensure that his entire body imposed the respect he deserved. His arms and hands were friends of a powerful man, while his wrists would let show a passion for softness, outlined by thin-leather bracelets.  His fingers – with well-shaped nails – were the direct expression of his intelligence, as they were the ones pressing all the keys and pushing all the necessary buttons. His chest was the guardian of his treasure: the heart within would beat hard in there and its shine would be almost screaming “Let me out of here, so that everyone can see me!” But he was really stubborn about keeping that shine in heavy chains… (What a pity!) His legs were in harmony with the rest of his body and completed well the picture of this “spotlight is not for me” man. His feet were always covered by neat sports shoes, while carrying his steps towards a bright future… He was the Brilliant!

*****

     He was the kind of person one could touch any subject with: from small talk (which he would actually not enjoy) to the depth of humanity, preserving Earth’s natural resources, invisible ruling of the world and self-development. He had an answer to everything and would easily make a valid point, as he himself would constantly seek improvement, ready to explore every avenue. And if he didn’t have the proper information, he would definitely put everything in the game to find it. By the time he presented the answer, he would have more than one option, all of them being accompanied by strong arguments.

     Shallow waters were not the ones for him, so he would times and often swim against the tide or ride the waves for reaching out for the shore in fair waters…

my cover - stamped

Excerpt from chapter 6

     One day, as they were talking as usual, there was something new catching her eye: for the first time, he was looking at her with a different pair of eyes, as if that was the first time they ever met. She was comfortably standing on the chair next to him and, for a second, she understood the way he was observing her…

     She was a medium-height thin woman, absorbing his every word and breathing every glimpse of his; her hair was blonde, carefully held by a golden plastic headband; her big blue eyes were fascinating, revealing a warm-hearted lady who’s been thru a lot and transparently showing the way to her soul; the star-dust in her eyes would shine every time she was looking at him – otherwise these eyes were mostly sad or focused on problem solving; her pointy little nose let show a golden pierce, as sign of her independence; she had a pair of lips that could turn on any man’s desire – these lips would usually wear red lipstick, but at this very moment they were covered in a shiny golden gloss; her long neck was the perfect trespassing to a fit body; her shoulders were in a relaxed position, a clear meaning of confidence and trust; she had a pair of breasts betraying motherhood, but covered enough by a sexy décolletage; her arms were soft and strong in the same time; her hands were tidy and a golden watch would wrap around her left wrist, while a stylish thin bracelet – decorated with a golden swallow and tiny white stones – was the symbol of her right wrist’s grace; her fingers were crowned by neat nails wearing red nail polish, offering our heroine an elegant look; her hips were tiny and her legs harmoniously fit the rest of her body, displaying her feet covered in a pair of red sports shoes… She was Red Diamond…

*****

     Her heart was racing in that moment, knowing her options were limited: whether he would be happy or he would definitely turn her down. Such cases would barely design a golden mean, thus failure was what had her trembling with emotion. She had no idea what was coming up…

 

Love,
A.

 

All rights reserved for the image  © 2017| Andrada Anitei @ Takenofake

 

Epilogue

 Sometimes I am far away from this world, sunk deep in my day-dreaming. Times and often, deception is too vivid there, yet I’m so scared to wake up, out of the fear of making it come to life and steal every pinch of hope left. The dim light embraces my state of mind, amplifying the trembling of my heart and the music echoing around the room moves my lips in a dance they can’t fight, though the words are meant to stick the thorn deeper with each note.

Every piece of rejection is another thorn my heart needs to drip blood from. No words could ever take it off and tons of stitches could never cover the pumping wound… Each word of yours (though not rude) cuts my flesh, reaching to the bones, chopping them to pieces I can’t glue together any longer.

[listen to: Sofia Karlberg – A Bible Of Mermaid Pictures (Acoustic Version)]

Sometimes I am far away from this world, sunk deep in my day-dreaming. Times and often, deception is too vivid there, yet I’m so scared to wake up, out of the fear of bringing it to life, thus stealing every pinch of hope left. The dim light embraces my state of mind, amplifying the tremble of my heart and the music echoing around the room moves my lips in a dance they can’t fight, though the words are meant to stick the thorn deeper with each note. I wish I could stop that, but there’s something framing my actions, leaving me no space to move. My feet are tied to each other, my hands are barely able to push the keys for 2 words in a row, my heart beats slower with every second and my mind is covered in blur. The only thing I can do is sing my sorrow, in hopes the Universe will hear it and send me something else in return.

bleeding black rose

[listen to: Sofia Karlberg – Runnin (Lose it All)]

If only you were here now… Words would have no purpose, as my eyes speak for themselves, revealing feelings I wish no one will ever try. A mix of misery, deception, despair, sadness… Some kind of radioactive contagious energy. There’s a battle between my mind (that tells me to let you go) and my heart (that is stubborn to keep you inside). The torture I need to take down is entertained by loneliness and too much time available to over-thinking…

Sleep will soon, slowly, take me in its arms… Yet, I wish I could keep my eyes open, as night-time dreaming is even worse that daydreaming. Effortlessly, my eyelashes are longing to come together, so I’ll have to give in, against my will…

One day can be too much… Things may take opposite directions, draining my veins…

My mind has played me too many times before, in a tiredless attempt to fight the obvious. But tonight things will turn out differently. I’ll find my path once again… And again… Till the end of time… Change is what I embrace this time, with no wish of going back.

My mind salutes you fairly, my heart says thanks for all the teachings and my lashes wave the final good-bye, as my lips whisper “You will always have your special spot granted!”

So, I’ll just surrender to the night, holding my heart tight and trying to comfort it with the light of stars…

Love,
A.

Story of 2 souls – book excerpt – Seal on my heart

You see, kind sir, life has a funny way of turning its pages… When you quit hoping, that’s exactly when things happen…

You!

Yes, yes, you!

Where were you a few decades ago? And what on Earth were the gods/ Universe/ the Almighty thinking when making our paths cross? What’s the purpose of all this?

I was about to put the seal on my heart again. Now you show up? Is this what a dreamer’s life is supposed to be? Trials and tribulations all over again? I guess there’s a lesson I need to learn. But I can’t. What’s the lesson? To keep my guard up, put a mask on and build a fortress around myself, to prevent hurt from touching me? Why is it that I can’t? Because I hate masks, keeping my guard up only intimidates people and the walls will drown me in solitude.

Or is it the exact opposite? Is it that the Universe is trying to show me that acceptance should be embraced and the way I am is just the right one for me? And that whoever can cherish my genuine style has nothing to lose, rather a lot to gain?

[listen to: Adele – Daydreamer]

That’s a riddle my mind strives to solve. But I guess the moment for me to find out will come, eventually…

Jane Austen - Pride and prejudice

You see, my eyes keep on being amazed everytime I read a line. Whenever I receive your thoughts, I feel like a maiden ready to faint while opening a letter from a gentleman.

Now, stop! Don’t you sing your victory just yet! No, no. You’ve still got barriers to break, oceans to swim and villains to defeat.

But I repeat my question: where were you exactly 10 years ago? What were you planning for your life?

You see, kind sir, life has a funny way of turning its pages… When you quit hoping, that’s exactly when things happen…

Love,
A.