Action drives reaction – My first Podcast :)

The generally known concept about this is called “Law of Attraction“, right? But I would rather relate more to what I stated above. The syntax “action drives reaction” seems to explain better the consequences of one’s deeds. And I can, without a second thought, clearly confirm (from experience) that this is true, whether we admit it or not.

It may seem weird and you may say “Doh! Is this post for real?”. Or you may just agree. Or pass it by. Remember, choice is always free!

The point of all this is the following: Do you remember @Ivan Hunt, CPC, ELI-MP, from the first #VulneRevolution interview? (yes, the man with those amazing answers! – find it here: https://lnkd.in/g2G3STm) Well, the day I published that, something happened in return – he asked me to be the guest of his podcast, called Keep it Moving! (How big of a deal is that?!?!? – To me? Huge!) If you’ve been following me so far, you know that I tell you everything. I share my good and bad moments with you all. (I just can’t help it, you guys are AMAZING!)

* Also published on Linkedin, here. *

This being said, when you watch the video (link below), please bear with me. I was all nervous and afraid of failing. But I still did it! (Do you sense any indirect advice in my last line?)

Enjoy 🙂

https://keepitmovingwithivanhunt.podbean.com/

Love,
A.

#ValuableDiversity – Interview series coming up

valuable-diversity

By nature, humans are social creatures. As much as I (or you or him or them) would like to believe that we succeed alone, my personal experience managed to change my initial view. I wanted to be independent (I still do, in some extent) and report nothing to anyone; I have hard times taking in imposed rules and freedom is my aim; I am stubborn, but I’m melting that… There were times when I considered myself to be alone against the entire world. But, as time went by, I realized that I was never alone. Maybe my view was (somehow) opaque and I was too shut into myself in order to listen. Yeah, I guess that’s it. I realize this, as I’m writing this piece…

My point is this: there will always be (at least) a person guiding us from behind the curtains and lending us the needed hand of help, even if we fail to accept that. But this person will be even more stubborn than we will ever be. They will not let go, even through the most violent storms of our lives.

And this person can be black or white, Orthodox or Jewish, tall or short, from a far land or from downtown, a woman or a man, gay or straight, poor or excessively rich… When this person cares, these are not boundaries; these are just aspects that will never set the standard of a true bond. Who cares if you work in a corporation or are a freelancer? Who gives a damn if you are a vegetarian or eat meat? Who cares who do you marry?

You see, from this point of view, I’m lucky! I have friends from all over the world. Acquaintances? No, I said friends… From the US, India, Nigeria, Romania (obviously), Belgium, Australia, Germany, Switzerland, Turkey, Greece… you’ve got the point…

I may never meet them in person, but I doubt that a hand shake or a kiss on the cheek can change much of the trust we’ve built. Call me naïve, but I’m going to keep things this way… I trust people and the beauty in them. And this is what I want to show you all. How a person, completely different from you (from any point of view you may consider) can still be beautiful and worthy of your care.

This is the purpose of the upcoming #ValuableDiversity interview series.

Do you want to be part of this and let people know who you are? Let me know in the comments section below. Also, make sure you check this blog weekly, for interesting new stories 😉

In the meantime, let me spoil the surprise a bit…

There’s this brilliant mind I met on LinkedIn, which helped me a lot, especially on a personal (development) level. And the point for what I’m doing this is because you need to reach out to him, no matter what…

By the time I was about to connect to him on LinkedIn, I was – obviously – curious about what his “thing” was. What spoke to me was “Your happiness officer” line on his profile (besides the music producer thing – you all know, from previous posts, that I am a music addict, with no cure 😁). Anyhow, at some point, we started talking and we even had an amazingly fun and full of energy call last week. He helped me out 2 times already and I know he will keep on doing this, every time I need it, no matter the time I text or call. Someone says about him: “a wizard of mind” and that’s exactly what he is! He can turn a blue ball into a pink elephant.

Who is he? If you’re not connected to him, hope my words above will push you to do it. He’s Richard C. Pryor. I call him, simply, “doc”… And he will be one of the guests I’ll have in my #ValuableDiversity series, pretty soon.

Just as a side comment, the poem in the link below will be the hymn of this series (my one and only published poem – hopefully plagiarism will be kept aside):

Let’s

Think outside of the box and see the beauty in this world!

That’s the aim of this series!

(this can also be found – partially, due to lack of space – on LinkedIn, here)

I would also love to learn your opinion on the diversity concept. So, without a fear, leave you comment below and let’s make this world a better place! 😉

Love,
A.

#VulneRevolution (Interview Series) – ep. 01 – Ivan Hunt, CPC, ELI-MP


Understanding Vulnerability

Welcome to #VulneRevolution, people! The “ice breaker” of the series, as promised, is  Mr. Ivan Hunt, CPC, ELI-MP, life coach. If you’d like to find out how an ex-military sees vulnerability, check out his words, below.

***

Thank you very much for being part of our #VulneRevolution series!

We want to explore the topic of vulnerability openly and honestly. No judgement or innuendo should follow your feedback, therefore please do your best to answer the questions below honestly, as your help may mean the world to someone else.

If, at any given time, you may consider that you would like to withdraw yourself from this activity, please send us an email (anitei.andrada@gmail.com orlmccauley254@aol.com) within 2 days from the moment you provided the initial information.

As we would like to make sure the information reaches its purpose, you may consider the option of having images added to our story, as “a picture is worth a 1000 words”. However, if you would like to preserve your privacy and, upon your consent to do so, we can always make use of royalty free images on the internet.

Short Bio: Before answering the questions below, please take a moment to reflect upon the visibility you will have on the platform and if you would like us to use your true identity (preferably) or replace your name with initials or even a name at your convenience.

***

1. What is your interpretation of vulnerability?

The first word that comes to mind is “transparency”. If you look up all the synonyms for “vulnerability“, virtually all of the words come from a place of “victim”; whereas, I don’t think of vulnerability with a victim mind state. I view vulnerability as the willingness to be open and honest, not with just others, but with oneself. This willingness implicitly comes with the knowledge and acceptance that the possibility, not probability, but possibility that you may get rejected, criticized, etc. Now, that’s strength!

2. Can you tell us about a time when you were vulnerable in the workplace?

It’s kind of a long story, so I’ll do my best to keep it short…

I was sitting in the COO’s office one day as she and I had a very good rapport and I needed/wanted her advice. My marriage was in shambles, again (2nd marriage) and I didn’t know what to do. I was in tears. The CEO and CFO both heard me crying in her office. The CEO actually walked in and looked at me with a smirk on his face. I was humiliated and I knew that I had “lost” some respect amongst them, but I was at my wits end. I was having a nervous breakdown.

I had been seeing a psychiatrist for the better part of a year, at my wife’s request, nonetheless. I had battled substance abuse for years, which was the main reason for me going to the psychiatrist. I was a few weeks away from finalizing my custody agreement with my ex-wife after an exhausting (mentally, emotionally and financially) four-years custody battle. My wife and I had lived the last four years under the microscope of the family judicial system. It was brutal on me and on my marriage. My dad was in the hospital after having open heart surgery and he was not completely stable yet. I had never seen such a strong man so vulnerable before. Additionally, I had consistently worked 11-12 hour days, plus most Saturdays and some Sundays for the last five to six months. I was spent. I had nothing left. I sat there and cried…

3. What happened?

Needless to say, I was looked at differently from that day forward. I wasn’t part of the “group” anymore. At first, it was really hard on me. I was embarrassed! Here I am, this big ex-military guy, crying his eyes out in the COO’s office! In hindsight, it was the end of a nightmare and the dawn of a new day…

“That day, my mind stopped. That day, I was no longer ashamed or embarrassed about what had happened in the COO’s office. That day, the transition from living in grey to living in color started!”

My wife called my psychiatrist and there was an emergency intervention. My psychiatrist knew I was in a bad place and I had a history of drug relapse, plus a bad temper. I went and saw her (the psychiatrist) that evening. Prior to me leaving her office that night, she gave me a homework assignment that required me to do some research. On a yellow post-it, she wrote down “bipolar and borderline personality disorder”. I started my research the next day and my world changed. That day, my mind stopped. That day, I was no longer ashamed or embarrassed about what had happened in the COO’s office. That day, the transition from living in grey to living in colour started!

4. Do you regret it?

No, I don’t! Would I advise going about it, the way I did? No, I wouldn’t. At first, I regretted it, but not now. I wear that day as a badge of honor. In fact, I started telling people what happened and what I discovered about myself.

Interestingly enough, most of my female counterparts openly admitted to me that they, too, were seeing a therapist, psychiatrist or whatever. I was shocked, because I thought I was the only one…

Oddly, my male counterparts looked at me with more respect. The admiration came from my openness about what all had happened. Like I said, here I was, this ex-military tough guy, that was admitting to have cried in the COO’s office and owning up to having mood disorders.

The mere fact that I was openly discussing it was a clear message to the C-Suite that I didn’t need to be in their group, nor did I need their approval.

5. Nowadays, do you consider that being true to yourself and others is a sign of weakness/ vulnerability or strength? And why?

I don’t think being true to oneself is any of the three.

In my opinion (that’s my caveat), being true to you, or put another way, living in your truth, is a sign of maturity and wisdom. The operative word is “being”. “Being” is living as who you are, “truth”. The truth of myself, are all emotions and feelings to include weakness/vulnerability or strength but also love, joy, peace, happiness, servitude, anger, frustration, anxiety, stress, playfulness, and the list goes on and on. Being true to yourself is life itself.

“There I was, this ex-military tough guy, that was admitting to have cried in the COO’s office and owning up to having mood disorders.”

6. How did your experience with vulnerability influence your current state of mind? Would you recommend others to talk about it?

My experience with vulnerability helped me identify a core value: transparency. Transparency doesn’t always mean that you are going to tell the world every single detail about your life. When I decided that I had to share my story with people, one, I realized I wasn’t alone, two, that I provided others with the knowledge that they weren’t alone.

I most definitely recommend that people talk about it and be willing to share their unique story. I know that there are some people that don’t feel comfortable with sharing their experiences, and that’s perfectly okay but for those that are comfortable, do it. Somebody is always watching and listening and you never know who you may impact in a positive way.

7. If you can sum up in 1 word how you feel about your experience with vulnerability what would it be?

LIBERATED ! I view vulnerability as the willingness to be open and honest, not with just others, but with oneself. Being true to yourself is life itself.

***

Ivan Hunt, thank you for being – so openly – part of this and for your amazing answers!

You can contact/ follow Louise Mccauley and Andrada Anitei at any given moment, by following the links below:

Louise:      https://www.linkedin.com/in/louisecc/

Andradahttps://www.linkedin.com/in/andrada-anitei/

*The photos used in this article were provided by the rightful owner, with clear consent. Using them without prior agreement may be object of the copyright law. All rights reserved to Ivan Hunt*

Follow #VulneRevolution hashtag for weekly #PowerUp.

Game on! Official announcement for #VulneRevolution !

Hey guys, yesterday I shared with you my guest blogger post, which announced an upcoming campaign. Today, the official launching was made on LinkedIn and the presentation video is there!

Soooo excited!

As mentioned yesterday, the structure is designed as a magazine-style interview series, containing 7 questions. The aim is to have real people answering them, in order to understand what people think about vulnerability, step off the boundaries society imposes and learn how we can find a resolution to it.

Therefore, if you would like to become part of this, please leave a comment below or use the contact form on the dedicated page and let’s do this!

Bring your energy, true self and will to help others with you!

Below the promised link and the direct link to the video (bonus 😃).

LinkedIn announcement:

 

Video:
https://youtu.be/ZIzgbSfosiA

* Feel free to follow us on LinkedIn:

Louise Mccauley
Andrada Anitei

Love
A.

 

Guest blogger (or what LinkedIn has done for me)

We all have a dream, right? Mine is to write and make a living out of this. And consistency and passion seems to be paying off.

The mentioned platform is amazing, under all aspects. Why? Said it before, doing it again: because of the beautiful people around, that are ready to help and offer a chance. And here I just got mine. Some may say it’s not a big deal. But for me it definitely is. And so, if anyone thinks about banning unknown people too soon, think again.

This guy – to whom I connected just recently – has given me a chance when others would pass me by. After just exchanging a few words. This being said, please, let me introduce you to Fa’rath Shba, a fellow blogger that believes “in the freedom of speech” and that “no one should be silenced, as long as they have something to say” and uses his blog for promoting others.

Below you will find the link to my first guest post which, by the way, announces an upcoming project, in collaboration with a person that’s already known to be one of my valuable connections on Li. 😉

http://www.afsyn.com/vulnerevolution-series-coming-up/

Thank you, Fa’rath, for this opportunity and for being so open to equity!

Love,
A.

An author’s state of trance

Any successful/ published author would state that, in order to achieve a certain degree of expertise, a robust routine would be the best recipe. I’m sure they have a valid point. But…

Unlike 99,9% of the feather users, I do not follow a pattern (if you read my blog so far, you already know this; I do things my way…). My routine is about getting in the state of trance that writing needs for my words to freely align, in the manner I like.

An author's state of trance

For this, I have a few “secrets”:

1. Music. I am so lucky that I clearly remember what my feelings were while listening to a specific song; I can even recall the road or area of the city I was in at that very moment. (As an example, as I was taking my driver’s licence classes, there was a playlist I used to listen to before meeting the instructor. The reference tracks for the playlist were “Sex shooter” and Christina Aguilera’s “Candyman“.)

This way, I bring back that state, whenever I need to approach a topic similar to that very feeling. Music has this effect over me: I transcend moods and states almost instantly, if there’s a perfect timing between lyrics and feelings. If you can do what I do, but don’t believe in calling it on purpose, just try it.

As an exercise, start writing what you feel in that very instant, but have a song in the background (I usually look for songs to perfectly express what I feel…). It can be your favorite song, if you’re happy. Then, the next day, do it again. See if you can recall the same feeling.

At this point in time, I want to be transported to the necessary state for finishing my first book (find some excerpts here). And I have one song on repeat. But this song prevents my attention from losing track.

2. A relaxing activity is my perfect environment for writing. For instance, walking. (No, I don’t encourage anyone doing the same, but I’ve got some serious exercise in this regard. Half of the book was written while walking… Even this article took shape during my evening stroll…)

3. Whenever something catches my eye (my mind actually), I write down a few words.

For instance, I see an old lady’s look, driving my mind to a mild soul within an overwhelmed body. So I write this, as if it was the title of a new article: “Mild eyes”. This way, when I come across these words, I will surely know what was the thing drawing my attention in a certain moment. Bettermore, I might very well remember that specific look. (Attention to details, remember?)

4. An overcrowded mind might be the best ally of an extraordinary post/ article/ story. Not to mention the merge of this state and a soul full of love and/ or mixed feelings. That’s even better. (If you ever felt so drained that you would leave everything behind, just to go for a new beginning, think again. Whatever one writes from the bottom of the heart (be it of deceit, hope, happiness or accomplishment) makes a great read! That’s a perception you should give a try to, at least once. It will turn tables like you never thought!)

As clearly pictured, I have no routine, but ways to enter the necessary state for writing. Will this lead to my lack of success or will it encourage others to do it their way? To be seen…

So, what’s your way of entering the state of trance for writing? In other words, what’s your secret for a well-written piece?

Love,
A.