Decisions

That’s why is important to take your time when you need to make a life-changing decision. Never rush! (…) What about forgiveness? But wait…

              How hard can it be to make up your mind? Furthermore, how hard is it to respect your own decision, especially if this combats the will of others?

There are times in life when making a decision, though you know it’s for the best, seems to be the hardest thing you’ll ever have to face. That’s why is important to take your time when you need to make a life-changing decision. Never rush! Never take the step upon anger! You counterbalance all pros and cons, to get a real weight of all of them. Now, tell me, what weights heavier: good moments (that may have been plenty), or the bad times that, even if fewer, drag the scale below understanding? What about forgiveness? But wait, forgiving has nothing to do with a well-scaled decision. You can forgive someone, and still know you will be better off without them. As well as you can love and walk away…

It may seem a paradox, but yes, even if you love, you can still walk away. Especially if it’s toxic. And toxic relationships affect your peace of mind. Big time! Ending a likewise relationship (that you thrived to keep alive, but harms you – reveals the worst out of you) should be anything but wrong! People will judge you, ’cause that’s what they do best. They will label, ’cause that’s what they enjoy the most. More disappointing? Even your closest ones. Especially them! Nevertheless, it’s YOU that you should consider first! This is not selfish. This is mercy for your own self. If you think is good for you, then it is. And Remember: every end is a new beginning!

[listen to: Christina Aguilera – Soar]

OK, I’ll admit there’s a tiny part of regret. But is it really for you or for the other? Or for both?

In fact, you pity the other for his human status. For the fact that you know they might be suffering. Even if you’ve been feeling the same along the way. However, be brave and think it through, objectively. Be strong enough to understand that their despair is not yours to carry, but theirs. Be compassionate enough to understand those moments they’re facing. You’ve been there yourself. Don’t be selfish, but don’t put yourself down for making that decision. You need to be strong enough to keep it, because you realize it’s for your own good.

Now, what about the regret you feel for you? Is it because you are a bit afraid to face what’s next, on our own? Because you see this as the greatest challenge of your life? If yes, think again. Moreover, think if you didn’t feel this way while you were still in that relationship. Were you carrying everything on your own? Were you the one responsible with decisions? If so, let it be the same now. You have nothing to fear! It will be just the same, but in a more relaxed environment. So, go for it! Don’t lose your way! Trust yourself! And… Everything is going to be alright!

[listen to: Christina Aguilera – Cruz]

Love,
A.

A traveler’s heart

I know that nothing is wrapped in a silky velvet, nor milk and honey flow freely on the highway. But I give myself the freedom of guiding my life by a few ideas…

            I wonder how many of you ever had the “I don’t belong here” kind of feeling. If you ask me, I’ve always had that feeling and I still do. I know I should have been born somewhere else. Do something else with my life. Focus on art. Focus on helping people – not necessarily in the volunteering way, but in my way.

Once, someone really dear to my heart suggested me a great book (maybe one of the best I read so far). As I was reading it (mostly in the subway, on my way to everyday work), I so found myself in it.

Long story short on the topic? A man who was never pleased with the teachings he was exposed to. Who was always looking for the answer of his life. He went from being a monk to a wealthy business man. Nevertheless, he abandoned that as well and turned into a ferryboat keeper old man. That’s when he understood that listening and watching the river would be the greatest teacher he would ever meet. And peace of mind is the greatest achievement one can touch. He died happy.

I’m not sure watching and listening to the river would bring that happiness to me as well, but I know one thing for sure: one day I will give that exaggerated courage a chance (yes, “practice what you preach”) and I will follow my most daring dream: travelling – experiencing that freedom the unknown reveals. Live my life the way I want. Meet new people, break boundaries and get rid of all those boxes people are so comfortable with.

I know that nothing is wrapped in a silky velvet, nor milk and honey flow freely on the highway. But I give myself the freedom of guiding my life by a few ideas. One of them is the following saying (that comforts my soul till this day and always will):

“Experience is the best teacher”

And one more thing: I want to be that “Go for it” kind of parent. And, should I reach my 80s, to be a “You can do it” kind of grandma. I want my children to make their own mistakes, but never feel sorry if they achieved their dreams; and not to follow the masses (even if this will be their decision to take, not mine). And I want my grandchildren to ask me for guidance. Guidance on how to get rid of the chains of society…

Love,
A.